


It's Not the Fall that Kills You

by fabulously_frenzied



Series: ML Oneshots [9]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Hawk Moth Wins, Hurt, Identity Reveal, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-29 14:04:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20083426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabulously_frenzied/pseuds/fabulously_frenzied
Summary: Emilie was all Gabriel ever wanted, and now he finally has the chance to bring her back.But winning isn't everything, and now that he's victorious, he stands to lose it all.





	It's Not the Fall that Kills You

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: sad

Cold.

Even as the sun glares down on him through muted stained glass windows, all Gabriel can feel is cold.

Just like he's been to his son when the accident nearly claimed Emilie's life, unable to think of anything else.

Just like he's been to every employee he's ever hired, focusing solely on his work to drown out the overwhelming guilt and grief.

Just like he's been toward every citizen of Paris for over two years, placing his own desire over their welfare.

_What has he done?_

He's spent hours in this empty fortress, in the confines of his office, in the discretion of that windowed room, in the suffocating haze of the underground shrine that hides his still lifeless wife. He couldn’t make the wish. He spent years working for that one moment, years to earn it, searching for every possible solution, painstakingly combing through ancient texts for any sign of hope that he might be able to make his family whole again. Every single sign he found pointed him in the same direction, and he found himself spiraling. Turning, turning desperately, turning frantically: looking the Guardian straight in the eye that fateful day in Tibet as he and his wife narrowly escaped the embers of that temple, watching Nooroo vainly attempt to escape his control, shaking his fists pointlessly at that window day after day as plan after plan was vanquished by the same two kids, those pests, the only _things_ getting in the way of finally achieving his goal, constantly snatching it from his reach, taunting him. He couldn't sleep, because of their joyful laughter echoing hauntingly in his brain every night, and because of the cold.

It never goes away.

The warmth of the tears rolling down his face was the only thing that kept him from freezing completely as he held the broken body of his son in his arms.

Hawk Moth had won. He had beaten Ladybug and Chat Noir once and for all, and was the sole possessor of the two most powerful Miraculous in existence.

In one swift motion, Gabriel had hastily shoved the earrings and the ring together. He had finally done it! His wish was about to be granted, he'd have his wife back, his family together, and he could think of nothing else as an eerily dark light emerged from the combined jewels. The light took the shape of a kwami, a tiny thing, whose hypnotic swirling gold and purple eyes stared straight through him. He cleared his throat and began to speak the words he'd played over and over in his head for years before this moment had finally arrived.

"I wish—"

_"You are unworthy."_ The voice was small, but the strongest thing Gabriel had ever experienced.

"W-what?"

_"You are unworthy,"_ the voice repeated. The kwami remained still in the air, motionless as it floated, unblinking.

"What? What do you mean? I've worked so hard for this!" Gabriel yelled. He had come all this way to be told he couldn't make his wish? "That's-it's—no! That's impossible!"

_"Look around you,"_ the kwami simply said, _"and tell me what you have done to earn this power."_ The kwami disappeared from his sight, the jewels in his hand flashed, then, hot as fire, flew out of his hand in opposing directions.

Clutching his burned hand, Gabriel slowly turned around, taking in the destruction that once was Paris. All around, buildings crumbled. Bodies overtaken by shrapnel lay strewn on the ground about the Eiffel Tower, somehow still standing in the midst of the chaos. The sky boomed, threatening to break under the enormous weight of gray clouds and let loose a torrential storm. Lightning flashed just behind him, startling him nearly out of his skin, and for the first time after the battle, he gazed upon the fallen heroes. Without their Miraculous, they’d reverted to their civilian forms. Ladybug lay nearest to him, attacking him with a newfound, primal rage after Gabriel threw a deadly blow to the back of Chat Noir’s skull. He stepped toward her limp body, the first few drops of rain landing on her pale cheeks. Inching closer, he matched the hero’s iconic pigtails to the identical ones worn by one Marinette Dupain-Cheng, a girl he’d been eyeing as either an excellent intern or a future daunting competitor in the industry. A shame, he thought, that’d she’d been caught on the wrong side, but he did what had to be done.

Or so he thought. 

Glancing up from the girl’s body, he caught a glimpse of white fabric above blue jeans a few hundred feet away. 

_No._

A mop of blond hair sullied by dirt, the off-white, worn soles of orange sneakers. He ran.

_No, it can't be!_

A figure he's spent over a decade training, exercising, posing into peak condition. He ran faster.

_It can't—_

The sky caved in as Gabriel's heart stopped.

_Son._

The downpour carried Adrien's blood into the ground, leaving his golden face pale. Gabriel couldn't take his eyes off the deep gash in his son's neck, the one he himself had made with a swipe of his sword. Had his blade cut any further, he might have beheaded his own son. He nearly vomited at the thought, only just barely forcing the bile back down his throat. He knelt, ignoring the pouring rain—he could hardly see through his own tears anyway. He choked on a sob when he saw Adrien's eyes were still open, the light from his beautiful meadow-green eyes now gone forever. Emilie's eyes, closed in her coma, would never open again without the cooperation of that kwami, and now he'd never see that sunny meadow in her or in Adrien either. He'd been so, so blind.

He cradled his son's body close to his heart, and cried into the storm.

* * *

Paris will not cease to mourn the loss of their beloved heroes. Their identities have been concealed from the general public, but those who knew Adrien and Marinette could not be kept from the truth, throwing them further into agonizing heartache. The identity of Hawk Moth, however, remains unknown, and without Ladybug and Chat Noir, Hawk Moth and his akumas have dropped off the radar. Without the Miraculous, there's nothing for Hawk Moth to chase after, but because Paris has yet to learn the truth of that fatal battle, the city sleeps in a quiet unease, uncertain what has happened to its antagonist. Rena Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee have been spotted about the town, on top of buildings and in the shadows, no doubt searching for the man who killed their team's leaders. They refuse to disclose any information regarding the death of their friends or the details of that final fight, and vow retribution: Ladybug and Chat Noir will be avenged, and Hawk Moth will be brought to justice.

Hawk Moth no longer knows justice. Gabriel thought he knew what was right and what was wrong, but what he thought was right led to the death of his only remaining family. Nathalie had drawn the line there, saying that she'd stood behind him when they were trying to restore his family, but not if he wanted to destroy it. The Gorilla doesn't even live in the estate with them, so once Nathalie left, the house grew empty—empti_er_. No son, no secretary, no soldier. The sole occupants of the mansion are Gabriel, some butterflies, and the comatose body of his wife. He can't bring himself to enter that sanctuary, knowing he's failed in so many ways. Failed her. He's failed Emilie, in so many ways. She never did approve of Gabriel's black-and-white view of the world, much less his use of the Miraculous he'd stolen from the Guardians' temple in Tibet. His quest to uncover the secrets of these legendary artifacts, under the guise of his and Emilie's honeymoon, had become a nightmare. She never forgave him, even after the birth of their son. In vain, he'd used the power of the Butterfly Miraculous to make a champion of himself, someone she could love, someone she could forgive, someone worthy of keeping their family's best interests at heart, but his wife only despised him more for it. She hadn't wanted any of this, and grew estranged from him. The illness, an ailment Gabriel is still convinced is the fault of that damaged Peacock brooch, overtook her in the depth of her misery. Despite all their differences, Gabriel still loved his wife, and as her consciousness failed her, he pored over the ancient texts he'd stolen from that temple in Tibet during every minute of every day, desperate to find any hope of a cure.

That's how Gabriel finds himself on his knees in a room filled with white butterflies, a harsh, cold, purple light glaring down on him like a spotlight on all his sins. His plans foiled by his own doing, any hope of achieving his deepest desire decimated because of the man he's become, Gabriel doesn't know how to _want_ anymore. His muse is trapped in a glass coffin underneath his mansion, his beautiful, model son is dead by his own sword. Everything, everyone he's ever loved is gone with no chance of returning. He's never known true grief until now, and he doesn't know how to go on. He has a company to run, a brand to represent, a fight to fight, and he doesn't know how to do it. He doesn't _want_ it anymore. He doesn't want _any_ of it anymore. 

All he wants is to somehow, _somehow_ undo all of the horrible mistakes he's made, and he knows he can't.

Everything is falling apart around him, with no way to stop it, but he knows it's not the fall that'll kill him.

It's the sudden stop, when everything is gone and nothing is in his control anymore, when he can't find any reason to get up, to keep moving, because he knows there's no way he can right his wrongs.

It's the sudden stop, when the media and friends and family start to dig deeper, underground sanctuary deeper, butterfly-logo deeper.

It's the sudden stop, which can only mean one thing:

It's the end.

**Author's Note:**

> A hot take I had in the process of writing, toward the end of this: if indeed the Peacock Miraculous is damaged and is the cause of Emilie's condition, then I feel like it would make sense for whatever "illness" overcame Emilie attacked her while in a negative emotional state. Through our limited exposure to Mayura, we know that the power of the Peacock operates through emotions (in Mayura's case, exploited negative emotions). So, while the symptoms of the "illness" may be physical, given that we see Nathalie with a severe cough after Heroes' Day, I think it would be logical for the actual ailment to be emotional or even mental. Just some thoughts, I guess.
> 
> Join me on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/fabulously-frenzied)!


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